Ray's musings and humor

Invest in your day!

Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine.  Anthony J. D’Angelo

 

 

I have a friend who ever since I can remember has touted attitude as the secret to a happy and productive life. He even hands out lapel pins that say ATTITUDE. I have learned over the years that my friend is right on target. We lay the foundation for the day we will have each morning depending on our attitude. I honestly believe that if we expect the worst, the worst will happen, or at least we will convince ourselves that it has. It is when we go forth with a positive attitude that our day has the best chance of being all we want it to. That does not mean that we won’t be challenged, we will be, but it does mean that we see challenge as just another part of life, something to be faced, overcome, and left behind.

 

I think the right attitude is even more; it is the frame around the picture in which we live. A meadow filled with flowers is also a field without a road. We can either bask in the beauty of the field or bemoan the fact that there is no path. It is those who see the flowers who fulfill the promise that the phrase “Stop and smell the roses” holds out for each of us. They say beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, it is but you won’t see it if you don’t open your eyes and let it in.

 

Here is what Charles Swindoll said about the subject and I think what he says is worth our remembering each day.

 

"The longer I live the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company… a church… a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing that we can do is to play on the one string we have and that is our attitude… I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our attitudes."

~~~

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come.

Chinese Proverb

~~~

Facts of Life

* Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy.  

* There’s a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.  

* Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that’s how dogs spend their lives.  

* Don’t worry about the world ending today…It’s already tomorrow in Australia (unless you’re in Australia -then start worrying).

* Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.  

* Character is what you are. Reputation is what people think you are.  

* A man usually feels better after a few winks, especially if she winks back.  

* Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.  

* There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.  

* If at first you don’t succeed … well, so much for sky diving.  

* A man who says marriage is a 50-50 proposition doesn’t understand two things: 1 – Women, 2 – Fractions  

~~~

The world is full of suffering, it is also full of overcoming it.

Helen Keller

~~~

The new Supermarket near our house has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh.  Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.  

When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and witness the scent of fresh hay.  

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.  

The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn.  

I don’t buy toilet paper there any more.  

~~~

Aggravated wife to husband who’s hiding behind the newspaper:

"You can stop saying, ‘Uh-huh.’  I stopped talking an hour ago."

~~~

Anyone who’s ever been to a "teaching hospital" knows to expect a group of students to descend upon them at any time. At one such hospital, in the recovery room, a bunch of students gathered around a beautiful blonde who, even in a gown, was obviously very well endowed.  

Recovery is an excellent place for student doctors to become familiar with variations in heartbeats while the body comes back to normal from the operation and the anesthesia.  

The first student approached the patient calmly and proceeded to listen intently to her heartbeat through the stethoscope.

The group was silent as he did so. The woman hesitated, then looked sympathetically into the eyes of the doctor-to-be. Reaching up, she gently placed the earpieces into his ears.  

~~~

Two Wrongs Don’t Make A Right, But Three Lefts Do.

~~~

Obtainable Affirmations

1. As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I am in touch with my inner sociopath.  

2. I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.  

3. I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else’s fault.  

4. I no longer need to punish, deceive, or compromise myself, unless I want to stay employed.  

5. In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.  

6. Having control over myself is almost as good as having control over others.  

7. My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of self-judgment.  

8. I honor my personality flaws for without them I would have no personality at all.  

9. I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.  

10. I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.  

~~~

Goodness is a special kind of truth and beauty.

It is truth and beauty in human behavior.

H.A. Overstreet

~~~

It doesn’t make sense. You’re flying at 500 m.p.h., 30,000 feet in the air, and the pilot tells you to feel free to roam around the plane. But when you’re on the ground taxiing to the gate at 1 m.p.h., he tells you to remain seated for your own safety.

~~~

Jill:  I had to take the bus the other day, and a gentleman asked his young son to give up his seat "for the lady" – ME!

Mary:  Well, that was just common courtesy, right?

Jill:  I don’t know.  The boy was sitting on his father’s lap!

~~~

I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.

Elayne Boosler

~~~

In a software design meeting, we were using typical technical jargon to discuss a data exchange interface with a vendor. One co-worker said the programming we had ordered was delayed because the vendor was suffering from a "severe nonlinear waterfowl issue." Curious, the team leader raised his eyebrows and asked, "What exactly is that?"

The programmer replied, "They don’t have all their ducks in a row."

~~~

I have found that if you love life,

Life will love you back.

Arthur Rubinstein

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are about 1000 readers from all over the world.

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