Ray's musings and humor

Prepare for success

Why should we worry about what others think of us;

Do we have more confidence in their opinions than we do in our own?

Brigham Young


I use to define success in traditional terms. Things such as title, income, recognition, status, you know, all the usual materialistic measurement others put upon us. I don’t anymore, now I like to define success as happiness, tranquility, opportunity to do more and worry less, new friends and other things that people overlook when they critique others. It seems to me that those around us who are critics or cheerleaders are people who measure us only by their own belief systems. The sad part is that too often we succumb to their siren song. It is more important to them that we be like them than to be ourselves.


Sometime ago I decided that was not for me. I inventoried the things that gave me pleasure, the opportunities I had to do something meaningful, and how I could avoid the trap of being locked into a job because of salary or benefits. While I don’t think I would change anything in my life, I might have benefited even more if I had made these kinds of decisions earlier. As you have heard me say before, this is as good as I get, take me or leave me. I may miss the mark and not help as much as I might or slip-up but I promise I will continue to do my best.


I think I have used the following before but it is so meaningful that it is worth revisiting once in awhile.


People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centered. Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest person with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest person with the smallest mind. Think big anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack if you help them. Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you might get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.



Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

  • Dr. Phil: The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on "this" side of the road before it goes after the problem on the "other side" of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his "current" problems before adding "new" problems.
  • Oprah: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
  • George W. Bush: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no middle ground here.
  • Donald Rumsfeld: Now, to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
  • Anderson Cooper, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
  • John Kerry: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am for it now and will remain against it.
  • Judge Judy: That chicken crossed the road because he’s guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
  • Pat Buchanan: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
  • Martha Stewart: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level.
  • Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I’ve not been told.
  • Ernest Hemingway: To die in the rain. Alone.
  • Grandpa: In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road and that was good enough.
  • Barbara Walters: Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
  • John Lennon: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
  • Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
  • Bill Gates: I have just released eChicken2006, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. The platform is much more stable and will never ever, ever reboot.
  • Albert Einstein: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?
  • Al Gore: I invented the chicken!
  • Colonel Sanders: Did I miss one?


I’m addicted to placebos. I’d give them up, but it wouldn’ make any difference.

Steven Wright


Jack hadn’t been to a class reunion in decades. When he walked into this latest one, he thought he recognized a woman over in the corner, so he approached her and extended his hand in greeting, saying,

"You look like Helen Brown."

"Well," the woman snapped back, "you don’t look so great in blue either!"


Pay attention to your enemies, for they are the first to discover your mistakes.



Married 25 years, I took a look at my wife one day and said, "Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25 year old blonde.

Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV, but I’m sleeping with a 50 year old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25 year old blonde, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed….


Sign on a desk in a reception room, "We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left."


She looked like such a sweet little old lady, driving the cute Toyota with a bumper sticker that said, "Grow your own dope."

How sweet, I thought, must be a medical marijuana patient.

Then I noticed the rest of her message … "Plant a man."


A man sees in the world what he carries in his heart.

Johann Wolfgang Goethe, from "Faust"


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are about 1000 readers from all over the world.

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