Ray's musings and humor

Go somewhere else!

“Hate is too great a burden to bear. It injures the hater more than it injures the hated.”

Coretta Scott King



Open letter to the mean and spiteful:


I was sorry to find you on my last cruise, I had hoped that you would have avoided being with the good people that sailed with me. Sadly you came; I thought you were especially cruel when you swore at the handicapped lady who needed the reserved handicapped space that you refused to leave. It was awful to hear you tell the person that was trying to make a helpful suggestion to “go f**k yourself and mind your own business”. Don’t misunderstand the silence of your fellow passengers as being weakness, rather look at it as them resisting sinking to your level.


You continue to exhibit the same behavior you did in Nazi Germany in the thirties when you beat the weak and prayed upon the defenseless. You have made bullying an art form in Darfur, and everywhere else you can find those who are vulnerable. If what you do proved your worth you would not be so friendless. While you continue to blame others for your failures, you have not achieved because you don’t deserve to do so.


When you hate so much that there is no room in your small brain for facts it becomes easy to overlook the fact that all poor are not welfare cheaters, all immigrants are not illegal, all politicians are not crooks, and all the weak are not powerless. Strength comes from the heart and soul, not from the fist. Look at the fate of your fellow haters in Cambodia, the Balkans, and even in your own community.


So as the rest of us enjoy our lives, appreciate others, and live in peace and harmony you can continue to pay the price that comes from the isolation of those who serve the devil. We know how you started, you jumped in front of someone else in line, beat up the little kid, kicked the dog, and stole what you could. Please go about your business someplace else as you are not welcome here. And oh by the way, the elderly lady that you told to go f**k herself is having the day you will never have, she is happy.


“A true man hates no one.”

Napoleon Bonaparte


Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the creator of the world-famous detective Sherlock Holmes, was not above telling tales about himself in which he was the laughing-stock.

In one situation, he was waiting at a taxi stand outside the railway station in Paris. When a taxi pulled up, he placed his suitcase in the car and took a seat next to it.

‘Where can I take you, Mr. Doyle?’ asked the taxi driver.

Doyle was flabbergasted. He asked the driver whether he knew him by sight.

‘No, sir, I have never seen you before.’

The puzzled Doyle asked him how he knew he was Conan Doyle.

‘This morning’s paper had a story about you being on vacation in Marseilles. This is the taxi-stand where people who return from Marseilles always come to. Your skin color tells me you have been on vacation. The ink-spot on your right index finger suggests to me that you’re a writer. Your clothing is very English, and not French. And so, I deduced that you are Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.’

Doyle remarked, ‘This is truly amazing. You are a real-life counterpart to my fictional creation, Sherlock Holmes.’

‘There is one other thing,’ the driver said.

‘What is that?’

‘Your name is on the front of your suitcase.’


"There are no shortcuts to any place worth going."

Beverly Sills


Funny Excerpts from Student Essays

Eventually, the Ramons conquered the Geeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long. At Roman banquets, the guests wore garlics in their hair. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his poor subjects by playing the fiddle to them.  


In midevil times most of the people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the time was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote literature. Another tale tells of William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son’s head.  


Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.  


The government of England was a limited mockery. Henry VIII found walking difficult because he had an abbess on his knee. Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success. When Elizabeth exposed herself before her troops, they all shouted, "hurrah." Then her navy went out and defeated the Spanish Armadillo.  


The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespear. Shakespear never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He lived at Windsor with his merry wives, writing tragedies, comedies, and errors.


In one of Shakespear’s famous plays, Hamlet rations out his situation by relieving himself in a long soliloquy. In another, Lady Macbeth tries to convince Macbeth to kill the King by attacking his manhood. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Writing at the same time as Shakespear was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.  


In the Olympic Games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java. The reward to the victor was a coral wreath. The government of Athens was democratic because people took the law into their own hands. There were no wars in Greece, as the mountains were so high that they couldn’t climb over to see what their neighbors were doing. When they fought with the Persians, the Greeks were outnumbered because the Persians had more men.  


I think of life itself now as a wonderful play that I’ve written for myself, and so my purpose is to have the utmost fun playing my part.



A woman answered her front door and found two little boys standing there holding a long list.

"Excuse me," one of them explained, "we’re on a scavenger hunt, and we still need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone and a piece of used carbon paper to earn a dollar."

"Wow," the woman replied. "Who sent you on such a challenging hunt?"

"Our baby-sitter’s boyfriend."


As long as you keep a person down, some part of you has to be down there to hold him down, so it means you cannot soar as you otherwise might.

Marian Anderson


A few nights ago a few friends and I were in a bar, telling all the blond jokes we knew; boy what a feast! Anyway, I ducked into the restroom to sprinkle the old porcelain. While I was in there, this big guy came in and said to me, "Hey pal, I’m blond and I don’t like you telling all those blond jokes!"  

So I said, "Well, they’re not against you, pal, just against anyone blond."  

"My mother is blond!" He screams, and pulls out a razor.  

Boy was I scared! I was sure he would have killed me, but luckily he couldn’t find a place to plug it in. 


“The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.”

Morrie Schwartz


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are about 1000 readers from all over the world.

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