Ray's musings and humor

“When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened”

Winston Churchill

 

One of the things that I am most grateful for is my ability to never worry until it is too late. Everyday I learn just how fortunate I am as I watch so many worry until there is no longer anything to worry about. This does not mean that I avoid defensive contingency planning if there is risk involved, but that is not the same as waiting for disaster to strike, rather it prepares one to make the best of adversity if it should happen to strike.

 

Over the years this trait has driven some people crazy. They misread lack of worry as lack of caring. One does not have to wail and moan about what might be if they face the future with the attitude that most things turn out well and those that don’t can be handled, especially if you have not wasted a lot of energy in worry. So my dear friends, do me a favor, don’t worry more than you must and then use the time you might have worried making yourself happy.

 

Don’t believe me? Then read what Ralph Marston, a pretty smart guy, has to say on the subject:

 

Most of the things you worry about are not worth the time and trouble you take to worry. And all that needless worry distracts you from other, more productive, creative and joyful things you could be doing. With every worry also comes the option to let it go.

 

You can feel the worry, see it for what it is, and then choose to immediately walk away from it. As soon as you do, your mind becomes vastly more clear and more focused. Your spirit experiences a glorious refreshment. When your mind is filled with worry, just imagine how wonderful it would be to have that heavy burden lifted clean away. Imagine it, and then choose the simple act of doing it.

 

Choose to walk away from worry, and lift that burden from yourself. In a moment, your worry can be gone. Breathe in the sweet, refreshing air of freedom, clarity and effectiveness. Walk away from worry, and walk forward with positive purpose.

~~~

“There is a great difference between worry and concern. A worried person sees a problem, and a concerned person solves a problem.”

Harold Stephens

~~~

"MEMORABLE TOMBSTONES"

These are "reported" to be actual epitaphs on tombstones:

 

Here lies

Johnny Yeast

Pardon me

For not rising. (Ruidoso, New Mexico)

 

Here lays Butch,

We planted him raw.

He was quick on the trigger,

But slow on the draw. (Silver City, Nevada)

 

Anna Wallace

The children of Israel wanted bread

And the Lord sent them manna,

Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,

And the Devil sent him Anna. (Ribbesford, England)

 

Margaret Daniels

She always said her feet were killing her

but nobody believed her. (Richmond, Virginia)

 

Anna Hopewell

Here lies the body of our Anna

Done to death by a banana

It wasn’t the fruit that laid her low

But the skin of the thing that made her go. (Enosburg Falls, Vermont)

 

An anymous tombstone:

I was somebody.

Who, is no business

Of yours. (Stowe, Vermont)

~~~

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

Herm Albright

~~~

I was at a party this weekend and a jokester, stifling a laugh said, "Listen to this: One day, Moskowitz and Finkelstein were going to…"  

At this, my Jewish friend, Al Cohen said, "Moskowitz and Finkelstein; Moskowitz and Finkelstein; always two Jews. Why do they have to be Jewish? Can’t you tell the joke with other nationalities involved? Why don’t you make them Chinese for a change?"  

The jokester, sobered and embarrassed, said, "I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend. Here’s the joke: One day, Hong-lee Yang and Mao-chen Foo were going to the synagogue to attend the bar mitzvah of Hong-lee Yang’s nephew…"

~~~

The best defense against logic is stupidity.

~~~

After several private tutorial meetings, the anthropology instructor invited the struggling student to his house to view his personal collection of artifacts.

As they entered his living room, the young woman began giggling. Pointing to an object on the mantel, she asked, "What’s That?"

"Actually," he explained, "it’s a phallic symbol used by the Australian aborigines in their fertility rites."

"Well, that’s a relief," she said. "I’d hate to tell you what it looks like."

~~~

The only lesson history has taught us is that man has not yet learned anything from history.

~~~

A man travelling on a train asked the ticket collector what time the train stopped at Victoria. "This train doesn’t stop at Victoria, its the express."

"You’re joking! I NEED to get off at Victoria!"

"Sorry sir, this train will not stop at Victoria."

"There must be something you can do."

"Well there is one thing…"

"What? Anything! I need to get off at Victoria!"

"Well, I’ll get the engineer to slow down and I’ll dangle you out the door and lower you onto the platform."

"My goodness!" said the man, "Will that work?"

"It’s worth a try," replied the conductor.

The train approached the platform at 50 mph. The conductor hung the man out the door. The man started running in mid air. "Run faster!

Run faster!" the conductor shouted as he lowered the man down.

The man’s feet touched the platform, and smoke flew off his shoes. One of his heels came off; he was running for his life! Suddenly, the ticket collector let go, and the man was running at 30 mph. He has made it; he began to slow down. He was still running at 20 mph along side the train as the other passengers watched in amazement. As the last car went by, another hand grabbed the man by the shirt collar and lifted him back onto the train.

As he was being pulled into the observation car he heard a voice say, "Your lucky I was here to help you on, normally this train doesn’t even slow-down at Victoria!"

~~~

“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.”

Leo F. Buscaglia

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are about 1000 readers from all over the world.

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