Ray's musings and humor

Imagine that!

“Limitations live only in our minds.

But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless.”

Jamie Paolinetti

 

Here I am again sitting in front of my computer with too little time and an imagination that is filled with unintelligible possibilities. So I decided I better go back to the dailies I wrote on May 2, 2002 and 2005. Here is what I found.

 

May 2, 2002

I think they say that a little rain must fall in everyone’s life. I think we might have too many people in Central Indiana right now, since all their little rain has added up to more then we need. But then philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer tells us; “this pulling out of the imagination which I am recommending, will also forbid us to summon up the memory of past misfortune, to paint a dark picture of the injustice or harm that has been done us, the losses we have sustained, the insults, slights and annoyances to which we have been exposed, for to do that is to arouse fresh life into all those hateful passions long laid asleep — the anger and resentment which disturb and pollute our nature.” After all of that I guess a little rain never hurt anyone.

 

May 2, 2005

So, how was your weekend? Mine turned out to be pretty special. First I got this e-mail from the head of a major scientific laboratory:

Hello!  We have never met, but I think we share much in our outlook on life.   I’ve worked at CDC for 35 years.  Been married 40 years and just turned 60. I survived raising 4 sons and 1 daughter and now have 5 grandchildren I love to spoil. I went on your distribution list starting in January 2003.  I don’t think I have ever contacted you before, but for some reason today I just had to let know how much pleasure and inspiration your "daily" emails are to me … they are truly the highlight of each day.  Thanks for all your time and effort.  I don’t know how you do it.   I share many of your clips with friends and coworkers (somehow I don’t think you mind).  They often wonder where I get "all this stuff".  Keep on keeping on!  Please consider me a friend that you just haven’t met yet.

 

What is especially nice is that now he becomes more than just a name on my distribution list with a persona that only existed in my imagination. If that wasn’t enough, I also got a call from a Professor in Wisconsin who I have never met nor spoken to except via the daily, he too was no more than just a name and an imagined friend until we talked. There is more, I also got a call from a former colleague who I had not spoken to for 25 years or more, except of course through the daily. It was great to get reacquainted. Three contacts in one weekend, who could ask for anything more?

 

I know I don’t have to tell you guys know how I feel when I hear from you. Is the daily worth the effort? It sure is if it connects me to people like these, and of course you.

~~~

A half moon is better than no moon at all.

~~~

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him resting on the seventh day. He inquires of God, "Where have you been?"

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downward through the clouds.  "Look, Michael, look what I’ve made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"

"It’s a planet," replied God, "and I’ve put life on it.  I’m going to call it earth and it’s going to be a great place of balance.

"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of the earth, "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor.  The Middle East over there will be a hot spot," God continued, pointing to different countries.  "This one will be extremely hot and while this one will be very cold and covered with ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God’s work, then pointed to a large land mass with oceans as it borders and said, "What’s that one?"

"Ah," said God, "that’s Florida, the most glorious place on earth.  There are beautiful beaches, rivers, lakes, and climate.  The people from Florida are going to be modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to be found traveling the world.  They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, and high achieving people, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then exclaimed, "What about balance, God?  You said there would be balance!  Everyone and everything seems so totally perfect in this place you call Florida!"

God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the idiots I’m sending down from the North every winter!"

~~~

Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun a lot more work.

~~~

She said, my husband is wonderful with our baby daughter, but often he turns to me for advice.  Recently, I was in the shower when he poked his head in to ask, "What should I feed Lily for lunch?"

"That’s up to you," I replied.  "There’s all kinds of food. Why don’t you pretend I’m not at home?"

A few minutes later, my cell phone rang.  I answered it to hear my husband asking, "Yeah, hi, Honey.  Uh..what should I feed Lily for lunch?"

~~~

People don’t injure their eyesight by looking at the bright side of things!!

~~~

Saul Epstein Was Taking An Oral Exam Applying For His Citizenship

Papers.

He Was Asked To Spell "Cultivate"

He Spelled It Correctly.

He Was Then Asked To Use The Word In A Sentence.

He Brightened Up And Said, "Last Vinter On A Very Cold Day, I Vas Vaiting For A Bus, But It Vas Too Cultivate, So I Took The Subvay Home."

~~~

The trouble with staying at home is you never find out just how good it is to get back.

~~~

Two guys were at a bar talking about how highly their wives thought of them.

The first guy said, "My wife, she thinks so much of me that she won’t let me do any work around the house. It’s incredible."

The second guy says, "That’s nothing.  My wife thinks I’m God."

"She thinks you’re God?  What makes you say that?"

"Easy. Every night she places a burnt offering before me."

~~~

Do people in Australia call the rest of the world "up over"?

~~~

One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents, and they were appalled by his appearance: leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos and pierced nose. Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern. "Dear," said the mother diplomatically, "he doesn’t seem very nice."

"Mom," replied the daughter, "if he wasn’t nice, why would he be doing 5000 hours of community service?"

~~~

I went to a restaurant that serves -breakfast at any time. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

Steven Wright

~~~

Think About This!  

* Laughter is like changing a baby’s diaper: It doesn’t permanently solve any problems, but it makes thing more acceptable for awhile.  

* Live as you wish your kids would.  

* Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun every year.  

* Love is like a rose. You have to see past the thorns to appreciate its beauty.   

* Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.  

* Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.  

* No job is so simple that it can’t be messed up.  

* Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.  

* Support bacteria–they’re the only culture some people have.  

* The pessimist may be right in the long run, but the optimist has a better time during the trip.  

* You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving.  

~~~

Those who love deeply never grow old;

They may die of old age,

But they die young.

A.W. Pinero

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are about 1000 readers from all over the world.

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