Ray's musings and humor

Howdy Neighbor

“I want you to be concerned about your next door neighbor.

Do you know your next door neighbor?”

Mother Teresa

 

 

 

One of the neat things about the daily is that it shrinks the globe for me. The world becomes my neighborhood and I get to hear from people who have given the gift of their friendship. It gets even better when a neighbor leans across the fence and share something that they value. Recently Lucretia in New Zealand did just that and shared these “Eight Friendship Gifts.” I thought I would share them with you since in my opinion if we follow her advice magic things will happen.

 

THE GIFT OF LISTENING…

But you must REALLY listen. No interrupting, no daydreaming, no planning your response. Just listening.

 

THE GIFT OF AFFECTION…

Be generous with appropriate hugs, kisses, pats on the back and handholds. Let these small actions demonstrate the love you have for family and friends.

 

THE GIFT OF LAUGHTER…

Clip cartoons. Share articles and funny stories. Your gift will say, "I love to laugh with you."

 

THE GIFT OF A WRITTEN NOTE…

It can be a simple "Thanks for the help" note or a full sonnet. A brief, handwritten note may be remembered for a lifetime, and may even change a life

 

THE GIFT OF A COMPLIMENT…

A simple and sincere, "You look great in red," "You did a super job" or "That was a wonderful meal" can make someone’s day.

 

THE GIFT OF A FAVOR…

Every day, go out of your way to do something kind.

 

THE GIFT OF SOLITUDE…

There are times when we want nothing better than to be left alone. Be sensitive to those times and give the gift of solitude to others.

 

THE GIFT OF A CHEERFUL DISPOSITION…

The easiest way to feel good is to extend a kind word to someone, really it’s not that hard to say, Hello or Thank You.

~~~

“The capacity for getting along with our neighbor depends to a large extent on the capacity for getting along with ourselves. The self-respecting individual will try to be as tolerant of his neighbor’s shortcomings as he is of his own.”

Eric Hoffer

~~~

A young boy refused to do his homework, and his father was trying to convince him to do it.  

He said to his son: "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace."  

The son replied:  

"Well, when Lincoln was your age, he was President!" 

~~~

Giving away baby clothes and furniture is a major cause of pregnancy.

~~~

COLLEGE CLICHES IN HORROR MOVIES:

Most of the students are always way too stupid to be in college.  

The big time jocks are always the first to go, so brawn does not matter.  

If you are a blonde with big breasts, don’t get naked or you’re a goner.  

Never go exploring in that creepy deserted building.  

Avoid any college with asylums or prisons near by.  

Stick with the brainy wallflower, she usually ends up surviving.  

Never take a shower if you have seen dead bodies, even if you are covered in blood.  

If there is a medical school nearby, avoid the morgue.  

If you are in a Frat or Sorority, beware of any recently rejected pledges, especially if they were released from a nearby asylum.  

Campus Police are pretty much on the level of Keystone Kops.  

Never stay in the dorms during extended holidays.  

~~~

In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.

Robert Frost

~~~

An old gent moved into a retirement community where good-looking, eligible men are at a premium.

After he had been there for a week he went to confession and said, "Bless me father, for I have sinned. Last week I had my way with seven different women."

The priest said, "Take seven lemons, squeeze them into a glass and drink the juice without pausing."

"Will that cleanse me of my sins, Father?" asked the man.

"No," replied the priest, "but it’ll wipe that grin off your face."

~~~

Clichés are a dime a dozen.

~~~

Passengers on a Lufthansa flight heard the following announcement from the captain, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am sorry to inform you that we have lost power to all of our engines and will shortly crash into the ocean."

The passengers were obviously very worried about this situation, but were somewhat comforted by the captain’s next announcement.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we at Lufthansa have prepared for such an emergency, and we would now like you to rearrange your seating so that all the non-swimmers are on the left side of the plane, and all the swimmers are on the right side."

After this announcement, all the passengers rearranged their seating to comply with the captain’s request. Two minutes later, the captain made a belly landing in the ocean.

The captain once again made an announcement, "Ladies and Gentlemen, we have crashed into the ocean. All of the swimmers on the right side of the plane, open your emergency exits and quickly swim away from the plane.

For all of the non-swimmers on the left side of plane, "Thank You For Flying Lufthansa."

~~~

Okay! I love you! Now can we eat?

~~~

You are aware of online gambling? Well, Congress is looking into it.

There’s going to be a massive congressional investigation of online gambling and they’re going to shut it down. And when they get done with that, they’re going to look into this North Korean thing.

~~~

"As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."

~~~

Kindness is tenderness. Kindness is love, but perhaps greater than love…

Kindness is good will. Kindness says, "I want you to be happy.

Randolph Ray

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are about 1000 readers from all over the world.

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