Ray's musings and humor

“Life’s like a play; it’s not the length but the excellence of the acting that matters”

Seneca

 

 

As I was driving home from a meeting today I started thinking about all of those who think happiness resides somewhere else and that they can’t find it where they are. Many live their whole lives believing in the illusion that happiness resides in a place somewhere over the next hill or across the sea. Too many spend their lives in frustration in search of that mythical place that does not exist.

 

If the truth be known happiness rests within the heart of each of us, not in another world. When we go elsewhere we still are the same person we where, but when we decide to change the way we think we often find that our “elsewhere” is right where we are. Pretend for a minute that we are limited to being on a stage which requires us to play out our lives within the space provided. We can act out tragedy, comedy, discovery, love; the list of the part we might play is endless. Rather than looking for somewhere else to perform we can look at what we already have on the set and if we don’t like the script we can change the play.

 

If we spent as much time on our “is” list as we do on our “wish” list there is no telling what we might find. Sure it takes courage to come out from behind the hope of finding that mystical place, but when we do it is amazing what we often find. It is not age that automatically leads us to despair it us our stopping to look for the happiness that exists right where we are.

 

"Youth is not a time of your life. It is not the age of supple knees, rosy lips and chubby cheeks. It is a quality of your will, a vigor of your emotions. It is the freshness of deep springs of life. Youth means temperamental predominance of courage over timidity, the appetite for adventure over the love of ease. This often exists in a man of sixty more than in a boy of twenty. No one grows old merely by a number of years. We only grow old by deserting our ideals."

Author Unknown

 

So how about it, let us join the flowers and trees as they blossom in spring as they begin their renewal. After all the only risk we take is that we might find what we have been looking for.

~~~

“Man is a make-believe animal: he is never so truly himself as when he is acting a part”

William Hazlitt

~~~

John bought his new colleague, Peter, home for dinner.

As they arrived at the door, his wife rushed up, threw her arms around John and kissed him passionately.

"My goodness", said Peter, "and how long have you been married?"

"22 years", replied John.

"You must have a fantastic marriage if your wife greets you like that after all those years."

"Don’t be fooled! She only does it to make the dog jealous."

~~~

Flirtation, attention without intention.

Max O’Rell

~~~

At a clearance sale, the wife of a federal district court judge found a green tie that was a perfect match for one of her husband’s sports jackets.

Soon after, while the couple was vacationing at a resort complex to get his mind off a rather complicated cocaine conspiracy case, he noticed a small, round disc sewn into the design of the tie.

The judge showed it to a local FBI agent, who was equally suspicious that it might be a ‘bug’ planted by the conspiracy defendants.

The agent sent the device to FBI headquarters In Washington, DC for analysis.

Two weeks later, the judge phoned the Washington office to learn the results of their tests.

"We’re not sure where the disc came from," the FBI told him, "but we discovered that when you press it, it plays ‘Jingle Bells.’"

I also have a tie that has a disc sewn in that plays Jingle Bells also, I am not sending it to the FBI, please don’t tell them, the tie was a gift. – Ray

~~~

"Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand."

Mark Twain

~~~

Blonde definitions

Arbitrator ar’-bi-tray-ter: A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonald’s.

Avoidable uh-voy’-duh-buhl: What a bullfighter tries to do.

Baloney buh-lo’-nee: Where some hemlines fall.

Bernadette burn’-a-det: The act of torching a mortgage.

Burglarize bur’-gler-ize: What a crook sees with.

Control kon-trol’: A short, ugly inmate.

Counterfeiters kown-ter-fit-ers: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.

Eclipse i-klips’: what an English barber does for a living.

Eyedropper i’-drop-ur: a clumsy ophthalmologist.

Heroes hee’-rhos: what a guy in a boat does.

Left Bank left’ bangk’: what the robber did when his bag was full of loot.

Misty mis’-tee: How some golfers create divots.

Paradox par’-uh-doks: two physicians.

Parasites par’-uh-sites: what you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.

Pharmacist farm’-uh-sist: a helper on the farm! .

Polarize po’-lur-ize: what penguins see with.

Primate pri’-mat: removing your spouse from in front of the TV.

Relief ree-leef’: what trees do in the spring.

Rubberneck rub’-er-nek: what you do to relax your wife.

Seamstress seem’-stres: describes 250 pounds in a size six.

Selfish sel’-fish: what the owner of a seafood store does.

Subdued sub-dood’: like, a guy, like, works on one of those, like, submarines, man.

Sudafed sood’-a-fed: bringing litigation against a government.

~~~

Kindness is more important than wisdom, and the recognition of this is the beginning of wisdom.

Theodore Isaac Rubin

~~~

George Burns told a story about cheating on his wife once during their marriage.  He kept it to himself, but he felt so bad that he bought Gracie a beautiful diamond bracelet.  Finally, after several years had gone by, he confessed to Gracie about his indiscretion. 

She said, "I know.  I was hoping you’d do it again.  I wanted a ring to match."

~~~

"My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That’s almost $7.00 in dog money."

Joe Weinstein

~~~

A motorist was on trial for hitting a pedestrian. The motorist’s lawyer made this point: "Your honor, my client has been driving for over thirty years."

To which the lawyer for the plaintiff retorted: "Your honor, if we are going to judge this case by experience, may I remind you that my client has been walking for over fifty years."

~~~

Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is a daring adventure or nothing at all.

Helen Keller

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are about 1000 readers from all over the world.

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