Ray's musings and humor

How sweet they are….

God gave us memories that we might have roses in December.

J.M. Barrie



Hi all. It has been another one of those days; I started meetings early in the morning, had lunch with a friend and just got home. Unfortunately the day is not over as I have a World Affairs dinner meeting in a few hours and I already have used all of today’s energy. In order to recover I am going to leave in a few minutes and retire to my sleeping place to recharge. So here we go again, my past revisited. 

March 22, 2001


Recently my wife and I decided to go through things we had saved over the years. She found certificates, pictures, letters, and more going back as far as when we each were young children.


For me it was an enlightening experience. Pictures of people whose names have long been forgotten brought back memories of events we shared so long ago. Each new batch reminded me of another time and another place. Most of what was remembered was of good times, and some were of bad times. What it did for me was to help me realize just how important people we know are to us, even people that we sometimes know for only a day or two. These shared experiences are the fabric from which our lives are enriched. As I thought about what it would be like if each of those I remember did not exist, I realized that it is the people that enrich our lives, not material successes that create our happiness. Each of you adds meaning in some way. Some of you I have known for 50 years or more, others only briefly, and even a few who I have never met in person. I have not always done as well as I might, but I hope I did not disappoint too often. Today our limited contact, mostly by e-mail, makes another human connection that helps keep life interesting and meaningful. Thank you for that.


The years since have only made me appreciate you all more. Someone told a friend recently that I collect people. I won’t admit to that but I will admit that everyday I find opportunities to meet new people and make new friends, friends that I will remember fondly whenever I look back at the truly meaningful events in my life.


March 21, 2007


Life is to be fortified by many friendships.

To love and to be loved is the greatest happiness of existence.

Sydney Smith


He said that with the divorce rate so high in America, a new organization has been formed called, "Marriage Anonymous."

Whenever a man feels like getting married, they send over a woman wearing a torn housecoat, with curlers in her hair and cream on her face, and she tries to nag him out of it.


She said if you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.


At the construction site of a new church, the contractor stopped to chat with one of his workmen.

   "Paddy," he asked casually, "didn’t you once tell me that you had a brother who was a bishop?"

   "That I did, sir."

   "And you are a bricklayer!  It sure is a funny world.  Things in life aren’t divided equally, are they?"

   "No, that they ain’t sir," agreed Paddy, as he proudly slapped the mortar along the line of bricks.  "Me poor brother couldn’t do this to save his life!"


If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.

Sue Grafton-


Several women were visiting elderly Mrs. Diamond who was very ill. After a while, they rose to leave and told her, "Esther, we will keep you in our prayers."

"Just wash the dishes in the kitchen," the ailing woman said, "I can do my own praying."


People tell me I’m childish but I think they’re just being poopyheads.


Over a round of golf, two doctors were talking shop.

"I operated on Mr. Lee the other day," said the surgeon.

"What for?" asked his colleague.

"About $17,000."

"What did he have?"

"Oh… About $17,000."


"Camping is nature’s way of promoting the motel business."

Dave Barry.


A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.  Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying A dollar per point." The next class the professor handed the tests back out.

This student got back his test and $64 change.


The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.


On his doctor’s orders, Mel had moved to Arizona. Two weeks later, he was dead. His body was shipped back home, where the undertaker prepared it for the services.

Mel’s brother came in to make sure everything was taken care of. "Would you like to see the body?" the undertaker asked.

"I might as well take a look at it before the others get here."

The undertaker led him into the next room and opened the top half of the casket. He stood back and proudly displayed his work.

"He looks good," the brother said. "Those two weeks in Arizona were just the thing for him!"


A baby-sitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers.


During a service at an old synagogue in Eastern Europe, when the prayer was said, half the congregants stood up and half remained sitting. The half that was seated started yelling at those standing to sit down, and the ones standing yelled at the ones sitting to stand up.

The rabbi, learned as he was in the Law and commentaries, didn’t know what to do. His congregation suggested that he consult a homebound 98-year old man, who was one of the original founders of their temple.  The rabbi hoped the elderly man would be able to tell him what the actual temple tradition was.

So he went to the nursing home with a representative of each faction of the congregation.

The one whose followers stood during prayer said to the old man, "Is the tradition to stand during this prayer?"

The old man answered, "No, that is not the tradition."

The one whose followers sat asked, "Is the tradition to sit during prayer?"

The old man answered, "No, that is not the tradition."

Then the rabbi said to the old man, "The congregants fight all the time, yelling at each other about whether they should sit or stand!"

The old man interrupted, exclaiming, "THAT is our tradition!"


The fellow who never makes a mistake takes his orders from one who does.

Herbert V. Prochnow


Laws Of Slow People

1. Slow people always walk side by side, even if they don’t know each other.

2. They drive side by side, too. If they can’t find another slow driver to pair up with, they drive in the fast lane.

3. Slow walkers never look back. When they drive, they never look in their rearview mirrors, either.

4. Slow people drift sideways so they’ll block the path of anyone trying to pass them. If two people or vehicles are trying to get around them at the same time, they drift into the path of the one that is moving at the highest speed.


5. Follow behind a slow person in the grocery store and you’ll wind up with soggy ice cream every time.


Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain – and most do.

Dale Carnegie


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are about 1000 readers from all over the world.

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