Ray's musings and humor

Let it start with us!

Christmas is not a time or a season but a state of mind.

To cherish peace and good will, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas.

Calvin Coolidge

 

 

Chanukah ends today and Christmas is but a few days away. In my family nothing brings us closer together than Christmas. Ours began last weekend when there was a gift exchange between the children who will not be together on Christmas Day. We now are getting ready for our annual joint Christmas-eve dinner with dear friends who have been like family for more than thirty years. These days there are three generations in attendance as well as extended family members, the group has gotten pretty large but for some, especially the younger generations it is the one time of year that we all get a chance to catch up. Christmas morning we will attend a mass where my 11 year old grand daughter will be one of the servers. Later in the day we will gather at my sons for excessive gift giving, I say that but in reality I like the opportunity that we all have to bring pleasure to each other, especially the kids.

 

Yes, our Christmas is probably too materialistic, and yes we probably are not as reverent as we might be, but Christmas does live in all of us. The day will be filled with warmth and friendship, a spirit that I would like to see all year. Maybe we would do well to make sure we bank the feelings of the day and use them to make our next Christmas all of 2007 by holding on to the goodwill that we have on Christmas day.

 

Whatever your religion or beliefs I want to you to know I wish you happiness and joy not only during the yuletide but for the weeks, months, and years ahead. Let us not wait for the world to bring us peace and happiness, let us all join up as missionaries and bring it to others, and through them to the world. Let it begin with you and me and at least we and others like us will rest every night knowing we did what we could to keep the spark of goodwill towards man alive for another day, another of our private Christmas days.

~~~

Christmas, my child, is love in action.

Every time we love, every time we give, it’s Christmas.

Dale Evans Rogers

~~~

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

"In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle," he said. "You may pass through the pearly gates," Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They’re bells." Saint Peter said, "You may pass through the pearly gates."

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women’s glasses.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"

The man replied, "They’re Carol’s."

~~~

He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree.

Roy L. Smith

~~~

A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas.

After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles."

"She did," he replied. "But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?"

~~~

Christmas is a holiday that we celebrate not as individuals nor as a nation, but as a human family.

Ronald Reagan

~~~

As a little girl climbed onto Santa’s lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?"

The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: "Didn’t you get my E-mail?"

~~~

In a small Southern town there was a "Nativity Scene" that showed   great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen’s helmets.  Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left.

At a "Quick Stop" on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, "You damn Yankees never do read the Bible!" I assured her that I did, but simply couldn’t recall anything about firemen in the Bible. She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage. Sticking it in my face she said

"See, it says right here, ‘The three wise man came from afar.’"

~~~

Christmas is the season for kindling the fire of hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart.

Washington Irving

~~~

Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged

SCHIZOPHRENIA: Do You Hear What I Hear?

MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER: We Three Kings Disoriented Are

DEMENTIA: I Think I’ll Be Home For Christmas

NARCISSISTIC: Hark, the Herald Angels Sing About Me

MANIC: Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and   Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and .   . .

PARANOID: Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Me

PERSONALITY DISORDER: You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll Tell You Why

DEPRESSION: Silent Anhedonia, Holy Anhedonia, All Is Flat, All Is Lonely

OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER: Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,   Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle   Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell,   Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,       …….. (better start again)

PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE PERSONALITY: On The First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me (and then took it all away)

BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER: Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire. 

~~~

Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.

Norman Vincent Peale

~~~

The Santa Claus at the mall was more than a trifle surprised when a beautiful young lady about twenty years old walked up and sat on his lap but Santa quickly recovered, and started talking to the college-type

"And what do you want for Christmas?" asked Santa.

"Something for my mother,” said the young lady.

"Bring for your mother? Well, that’s what I call thoughtful,” smiled Santa. "What can I get her?"

After thinking for a moment, the girl brightened, turned to Santa and said: "I’d like for her to get a son-in-law "

~~~

I sometimes think we expect too much of Christmas Day.

We try to crowd into it the long arrears of kindliness and humanity of the whole year.

David Grayson

~~~

NOTE!!

The daily will be celebrating the holidays and the presses will be closed for a few days, we may start them for a day or two next week. After that they definitely will be shut down until January 8th or so. The publisher and his wife are reestablishing an old family tradition, New Year’s at sea. While we will probably not see any snow in the tropics I think we will be able to suffer through it.

 

Merry Christmas,

Happy New Year

&

Love to all,

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are about 500 readers from all over the world.

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