Ray's musings and humor

Please Understand

“No one is useless in the world who lightens the burden of it for anyone else.”

Charles Dickens



Often we share burdens such as our common concern for those who die each day due to conflict and deprivation. Yet if the truth be known our shared burdens are never quite as heavy as those we carry on our own. In fact more often than not, burden does not describe what we feel — pain more accurately describes the experience.


Even though our pain may not be logical, it is no less real. When we are in pain we don’t need anyone to tell us that if we had done something different the pain could have been avoided. Nor do we need someone to tell us that our pain is foolish and that we should get over it. And we surely don’t need some one to talk us into becoming mad and angry and to lash out against whoever or whatever may have triggered our pain. Nor do we need to hear how dumb it is to feel the pain. We do not need to be judged, what we need is empathy and understanding as well as help to get through our pain.


Pain is often irrational but that does not make it less real, and the best cure is often the understanding, compassion, and solace given to us by others. Often the pain will pass more easily if we just sit quietly together for a bit. We can be the best medicine someone we care about will ever have; all you have to do is care some and love a lot and you will never know how grateful we are that you were there when we needed you.


Maybe I Never Will Be 


I’m not very good

At this Game called Life

For I’ve not learned to see children crying

Without feeling pain

For I’ve not learned to watch animals destroyed

Without wondering why

For I’ve not yet met a king or a celebrity

That I would bow down to

Or a man so insignificant

That I would use for a stepping-stone

For I’ve not learned to be a ‘yes man’

To narrow minded bosses

Who quote rules without reason

And I’ve not learned to manipulate

The feelings of others

To be used for my own advantages

Then cast aside as I see fit

No, I’m not very good

At this Game called Life

And if everything goes well

Maybe I never will be



I liked Bob Hope’s answer when someone asked "How’s your golf game?" He would say, "If it was a boxing match they’d stop it."

There are a lot of golfers at this banquet. I handed one guy the cream and sugar and he corrected my grip. But I really knew he was a golfer when he took three lumps of sugar and wrote down two.

This guy can do more damage on a golf course than lightning.

He played well today, he hit two birdies, an eagle, a moose, an elk, and a mason.


Lawyer: "Mrs. Brighton, I have succeeded in coming to a settlement with your husband that is eminently fair to both of you."  

Mrs. Brighton: "What the hell is wrong with you? I could have done that myself!"  


There is no beautifier of complexion, or form, or behavior, like the wish to scatter joy and not pain around us.

Ralph Waldo Emerson



CADDY–2 women talking about a 3rd who isn’t there to defend herself.

CHIPPING — Time to get our nails done again.

DOUBLE BOGIE — "Casablanca" followed by "African Queen."

FAIRWAY — Splitting the bill when the girls go to lunch.

GOOD LIE — Weight on our driver’s license.

GREENS — Lunch we eat when we’d really love a cheeseburger.

HOLE-IN-ONE — Time to get new pantyhose.

IRON — What guys need to learn to do their own shirts.

ROUGH — Getting a guy to understand, well, pretty much anything.

SHAFT — You watch the kids while he gets to go golfing.

SLICE — "No thanks. . .just a sliver."

TEES — Putting on that Victoria Secret Negligee.

WATER HAZARD — Giving the kids too much to drink before a road trip.

WEDGE — Bathing suit that’s too tight


She said: When a man brings his wife a gift for no reason, there’s a reason.


Charlie, why don’t you play golf with Ted any more?" asked the wife.

"Would you play golf with a chap who moved the ball with his foot when you weren’t watching?" he said.

"Well, no," admitted his wife.

"Neither will Ted," replied the dejected husband.


Success is a matter of luck. Ask any failure.

Earl Wilson


Young Morris asked his father, "Dad, was Adam Jewish?"  His father put down his newspaper and thought for a moment. He was an expert at Talmudic reasoning and in the art of making a point by an unanswerable question. He replied, "If we can determine that Eve was Jewish, my son, we would at once see that Adam was Jewish, for who but a Jew could bring himself to marry a Jewish girl?" (Here he turned his head a bit nervously to make sure his wife wasn’t listening.) "Therefore, we can drop the Adam problem and instead ask ourselves, "Was Eve Jewish?" "To answer that, we have only to ask the question, "Would anyone but a Jewish girl say, ‘Here, have a piece of fruit’?"


"We are not held back by the love we didn’t receive in the past,

but by the love we’re not extending in the present."

Marianne Williamson


The tax advisor had just read the story of Cinderella to his four-year-old daughter for the first time. The little girl was fascinated by the story, especially the part where the pumpkin turns into a golden coach. Suddenly she piped up, "Daddy, when the pumpkin turned into a golden coach, would that be classed as income or a long-term capital gain?"


If I can stop one heart from breaking,

I shall not live in vain:

If I can ease one life the aching,

Or cool one pain,

Or help one fainting robin

Unto his nest again,

I shall not live in vain.


Emily Dickinson


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are about 500 readers from all over the world.


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