Ray's musings and humor

“Life is full of obstacle illusions.”

Grant Frazier

 

 

As most of you know my favorite role model is my 11 year old granddaughter. Just this week we learned that she has been selected to the US Gymnastics Association’s National Team for her age group. In December they are flying her and her coach back to the national camp in Texas for further development. Of course I am proud of her, but not so much for the recognition she gets and the trophy’s she has won, but rather for how she faces life.

 

I honestly believe that she is not all that enamored with always winning but finds joy in doing the best she can. When someone beats her in an event she is first to congratulate them and always with a big smile. She is almost always smiling and when she does something well she radiates an infectious elation. She practices most every day for four hours, for most of us that would become pretty old but not her, she seems to love doing it. I think part of her secret might be that she finds happiness in doing the best she can and personal pleasure in doing something a little bit better today than she did yesterday.

 

She does well in all her endeavors, she is an excellent student, participates in non-gymnastic events when she can, and has great friends. It seems to me that she sees obstacles as just things you encounter during another day in the office. She does not waste time thinking about problems, she just gets up with a smile and if she can’t go through the wall she just climbs over it and treats it as no big deal. Too many of us arrive at a wall and sit and agonize over our bad luck that it is there and often we lack the confidence needed to get by it only to later find that it was only an illusion. If we were like my granddaughter we would never have stopped at the base of the wall in the first place, we just would have kept going and did whatever it took to get to the other side and moved on.

 

So I will continue to be awe struck by my granddaughter Jorden’s accomplishments, not by the trophies she has won or the recognition she has received but rather by the way she lives. When I grow up I want to be just like her.

~~~

 “Life’s up and downs provide windows of opportunity to determine your values and goals.

Think of using all obstacles as stepping stones to build the life you want”

Marsha Sinetar

~~~

Laws of Slow People

1. Slow people always walk side by side, even if they don’t know each other.

2. They drive side by side, too. If they can’t find another slow driver to pair up with, they drive in the fast lane.

3. Slow walkers never look back. When they drive, they never look in their rearview mirrors, either.

4. Slow people drift sideways so they’ll block the path of anyone trying to pass them. If two people or vehicles are trying to get around them at the same time, they drift into the path of the one that is moving at the highest speed.

5. Follow behind a slow person in the grocery store and you’ll wind up with soggy ice cream every time.

~~~

Courage is grace under pressure.

Ernest Hemingway

~~~

A scroungy looking fellow goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, "No way; I don’t think you can pay for it." The guy shrugs, "You’re right. I don’t have any money, but if I show you something you haven’t seen before, will you give me a drink?"

The bartender says, "Only if what you show me ain’t risqué."

"Done!" says the guy and reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a very large gerbil. He puts the gerbil on the bar and it scampers down the bar, across the room, up the piano, jumps on the keyboard and starts playing some wonderful Scott Joplin tunes.

The bartender says, "Truly Amazing! I’ve never seen anything like that before. And your furry friend is truly good on the piano." The fellow grins, downs the drink and asks for another. "Cash, another miracle or else no drink," says the bartender.

Undaunted, the fellow reaches into his coat again and pulls out a frog. He puts the frog on the bar, and the frog starts to sing. He has a marvelous baritone voice and great pitch. A fine singer. Another patron from the other end of the bar runs over to the guy and offers him $500 on the spot for the frog.

The guy says, "Done, sir." He takes the five hundred and gives the stranger the frog. The stranger beats a hasty retreat out of the bar.

The bartender says to the guy, "What are you? Wacko? You sold a singing frog for just $500? That thing must be worth millions. You must be crazy."

"Maybe not…," says the guy, "Considering my friend the gerbil is also a ventriloquist."

~~~

If evolution is true, how come mothers still have only two hands?

~~~

One day two cows were chatting over the fence between their two fields.

The first cow said, "I’m telling you, this mad cow disease is getting pretty scary! I’ve heard it’s spreading so fast that it’s already on Farmer Brown’s land just down the road!"

The second cow replied, "So what? It doesn’t affect us chickens!"

~~~

I am reading a very interesting book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.

~~~

One finds the most romantic people at home improvement centers.

My son was helping a couple purchase a new door for their home.  After he asked what size they needed, the stumped husband yelled clear across the store to his wife in home supplies, "Honey, c’mon over here and see which one of these doors you can fit through!"

~~~

Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

~~~

A jeweler watched as a huge truck pulled up in front of his store. The back came down and an elephant walked out. It broke one of the windows with its tusk and then, using its trunk like a vacuum cleaner sucked up all of the jewelry. The elephant then got back in the truck and it disappeared out of sight.

When the jeweler finally regained his senses he called the police. The detectives came and he told them his story.

"Could you describe the elephant?" the cop asked.

"An elephant is an elephant," he replied. "You’ve seen one you’ve seen them all. What do you mean ‘describe’ him?"

"Well," said the policeman, "there are two types of elephants, African and Indian. The Indian elephant has smaller ears and is not as large as the African elephant."

"I can’t help you out," said the frustrated jeweler, "he had a stocking pulled over his head."

~~~

Choose heaven for the climate & hell for the company.

~~~

"How was your blind date?" a college student asked her room-mate.

"Terrible!" the room-mate answered. "He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce."

"Wow! That’s a very expensive car. What’s so bad about that?"

"He was the original owner!"

~~~

A nurse was showing some student nurses through the hospital. "This will be the most hazardous section in the hospital for you. The men on this floor are almost well."

~~~

“There seemed to be endless obstacles… it seemed that the root cause of them all was fear.”

Joanna Field

~~~

 Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are about 500 readers from all over the world.

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