We made it back from our cruise which included some unplanned excitement. Last Saturday we were tendering back to our ship from the shore in Cannes, France in one of the ships boats that has an open hatch on each side of the boat for passenger access. Passengers are seated on benches in an enclosed cabin surrounded by Plexiglas windows. The sea was fairly choppy when we pulled away from the dock but became quite heavy as we got further to sea. Soon the waves and wind became so strong that the boat would roll to the side by about 45 degrees and water would come over the side into the cabin. The bow would dip down into waves to the point that they were breaking over the top of the boat and water was coming in from overhead closed hatches. It got so rough that a few of the windows cracked and started leaking as well. As you can imagine people were screaming, most donned life vests, some cried while most turned white from fear. We finally made it to the ship with water sloshing around on the deck and attempted to tie up. Unfortunately the sea was so heavy that we continued to smash against the ships landing area to the point that damage was being done to the boat, so they sent us back, but not before some panicked passengers fought to get to the open hatch to try to jump to the ships landing, a crew member had to make them sit back down. Well we made it back OK,after waiting for calmer seas, a new boat, and a more experienced helmsman.
I don’t think anyone’s hair turned white but a few might have benefited from diapers and others from a few stiff drinks. One of my fellow passengers told me she was so sure that she was going to drown that she regretted not having a will to make it easier on her children. In my case, my life flashed in front of my eyes and I got the feeling I had seen it all before, unfortunately it was not all that interesting. But as you can tell we all survived and everything since seems somewhat unimportant.
I am sure those who shared the experience will talk about it for years. But you know what, if that is as bad as it gets for us we will do just fine.
Other than that the cruise was great, the weather was superb, the friends we made are truly special, and the ports had much to offer. The good news was that the shipboard entertainment was as good as it gets. The bad news is that the devil must have been the head chef because they gave me so much great food that I could not resist the temptations and gained more than ten pounds, so I am back on the treadmill and am dieting.
By the way those of you who get the daily sent to your mailbox may not see them first thing in the morning anymore. I found that sleeping aboard ship was so refreshing that I have decided to do more at home.
“Earth and sky, woods and fields, lakes and rivers, the mountain and the sea, are excellent schoolmasters, and teach some of us more than we can ever learn from books.”
Bernie took his wife Sadie to see a psychiatrist for a check up.
After examining her, the doctor took Bernie to one side and said, "I have some very bad news for you. There is nothing I can do to help your wife. Her mind has completely gone."
"I’m not really surprised," Bernie replied, "Sadie’s been giving me a piece of it every day for the last 50 years."
Ineptitude: If you can’t learn to do something well, learn to enjoy doing it poorly.
The young secretary was describing her evening’s exploits to a friend. "After dinner," she said, "he wanted to come back to my apartment, but I refused. I told him my mother would worry if I did anything like that."
"That was smart," her friend said, approvingly, "Then what happened?"
"He kept insisting, and I kept refusing," the secretary said.
"You didn’t weaken your resolve did you?" asked the friend.
"Not one bit. In the end, we went to his apartment. I figured, let HIS mother worry…"
Don’t ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up.
1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.
2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.
3. I will never put off until tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.
4. I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.
5. I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.
6. I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.
7. I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle, though infinitesimally small, is not exactly zero.
8. If at first I don’t succeed, there is always next year.
9. I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
10. I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.
11. I obey the law of inverse excuses which demands that the greater the task to be done, the more insignificant the work that must be done prior to beginning the greater task.
12. I know that the work cycle is not plan/start/finish, but is wait/plan/plan.
13. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.
Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
A husband and wife were arguing about an investment the husband wanted to make. In the midst of the argument, he pointed out that men had better judgment than women.
"Well, I guess you’re right about that," replied the wife. "You asked me to marry you….and then I said yes!"
The only sure bulwark of continuing liberty is a government strong enough to protect the interests of the people, and a people strong enough and well enough informed to maintain its sovereign control over the government.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt
A young man confided to his mother that he proposed taking unto himself a bride.
"Whatsa dees?" screamed Mother. "Who’s a gonna love you like a Momma? Who’s a gonna starch-a you socks? Who’s a gonna make-a you lasagna?"
"Please, Mom, calm down," pleaded the son. "Why are you talking like that? We aren’t even Italian."
Only in America do we shop at places with limited parking, overpriced items, and long lines and insultingly, call them convenience stores.
A rich man was trying to find his daughter a birthday gift when he saw a poor immigrant with a beautiful white horse.
He told the man that he would give him $500 for the horse.
The poor man replied, "I don’t think so, mister, it don’t look good," and walked away.
The next day the rich man came back and offered the poor man $1000 for the horse.
The poor man said, "No better not, it don’t look too good."
On the third day the rich man offered the poor man $2000 for the horse, and said he wouldn’t take no for an answer.
The poor man said well OK, and the rich man took the horse home.
The rich man’s daughter loved her present. She climbed onto the horse, and it galloped away right into a tree.
The rich man rushed back over to the poor man’s house, demanding an explanation for the horse’s blindness.
The poor man replied, "I told you it don’t look so good!"
It is not only for what we do that we are held responsible, but also for what we do not do.
Stay well, do good work, and have fun.
Indianapolis, Indiana, USA
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.
The editor is somewhat senile.