Ray's musings and humor

Tomorrow is a new day

Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending

Author Unknown

 

I spent some time this morning with a long time friend who is in the process of planning the rest of her working life. I am pleased that she is not falling into the trap of only finding something she can do instead of finding something she wants to do. A few years ago I shared my belief in the value of a new start, here is what I wrote at the time:

 

One of the greatest things I have found in life is how great it is to begin again. No matter what our age we can find adventure, joy, and satisfaction in doing something new. I don’t think it is a case of choosing to go over the same old ground, but rather a chance to choose to begin anew and cover new ground. Every time we make a fresh start we are provided the opportunity to offload burdens from our past. Of course we have to take advantage of the opportunity and not let past burdens limit our ability to carry new cargo. Actually we can even begin anew everyday, maybe not completely, but at least enough to stick our toe in the water and test what it has to offer.

Here is what Bill Greer suggests:

Begin to see yourself as you were when you were the happiest and strongest you’ve ever been.

Begin to remember what worked for you (and what worked against you), and try to capture the magic again.

Begin to remember how natural it was when you were a child — to live a lifetime each day.

Begin to forget the baggage you have carried with you for years: the problems that don’t matter anymore, the tears that cried themselves away, and the worries that are going to wash away on the shore of tomorrow’s new beginnings.

Tomorrow tells us it will be here every new day of our lives; and if we will be wise, we will turn away from the problems of the past and give the future — and ourselves — a chance to become the best of friends.

Sometimes all it takes is a wish in the heart to let yourself begin again.

~~~

We are too busy mopping the floor to turn off the faucet.

Author Unknown

~~~

From kids test papers, essays, etc. The spellings are the original ones.

*H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.

*To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.

*When you smell an oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.

*Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is water and gin.

*A super saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.

*Liter: A nest of young puppies.

*Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat.

*Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away.

*Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives.

*The pistol of the flower is its only protection against insects.

*A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.

*To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.

*For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower that the heart until the heart stops.

*For head colds: use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat.

*Germinate: To become a naturalized German.

*The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

*Blood flows down one leg and up the other.

~~~

What this country needs today is fewer experts on what this country needs.

~~~

Jill and Nadine hadn’t seen each other in awhile, so they decided to meet for lunch.  The talk naturally got around to their respective love lives.  Jill confided that there really wasn’t anyone special in her life.

Nadine, on the other hand, was beaming about the new man she had found. 

"He’s perfect.  He’s handsome, and last night when we went out to dinner, he said the four little words I’ve been waiting to hear a man say to me!"

"He said ‘will you marry me’?" Jill asked.

Nadine replied, "No, he said ‘put your money away’

~~~

Birthdays are good. The more you have, the longer you live.

~~~

A guy about to tee off was approached by a man who held out a card that read, "I am a deaf mute. May I please play through?"

The first man gave the card back, angrily shaking his head, and saying, "No, you CANNOT play through." He assumed the guy read lips so he mouthed, "I can’t believe you would try to use your handicap to your own advantage like that! Shame on you!"

The deaf man walked away and the first man whacked the ball onto the green and then walked off to finish the hole.

Just as he was about to put the ball into the hole he was hit in the head with a golf ball that knocked him out cold. When he came to a few minutes later, he looked around and saw the deaf mute sternly looking at him, one hand on his hip, the other hand holding up four fingers.

~~~

"The world is round, and the place which may seem like the end may also be only the beginning."

Ivy Baker

~~~

A teacher was giving a talk on company slogans and was asking his students if they were familiar with them.

"Joe," he asked, "which company has the slogan, ‘Come fly the friendly skies’?"

Joe answered the correct airline.

"Brenda, can you tell me which company has the slogan, ‘Don’t leave home without it’?"

Brenda answered the correct credit card company with no difficulty.

"Now Jonny, tell me which company bears the slogan, ‘Just do it’?"

And Little Jonny answered, "Mom."

~~~

When push comes to shove… somebody’s gonna figure out that "push" and "shove" mean the same damn thing.

~~~

A terrific explosion occurs in a gunpowder factory, and once all the mess has been cleared up, and inquiry begins.

One of the few survivors is pulled up to make a statement. "Okay Simpson," says the investigator, "you were near the scene – what happened ?"

"Well, it’s like this. Old Charley Higgins was in the mixing room, and I saw him take a cigarette out of his pocket and light up."

"He was smoking in the mixing room ?" the investigator said in stunned horror, "How long had he been with the company?"

"About 20 years, sir"

"20 years in the company, then he goes and strikes a match in the mixing room, I’d have thought it would have been the last thing he’d have done."

"It was, sir."

~~~

"Turn your face to the sun, and the shadows fall behind you."
Maori Proverb

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are about 500 readers from all over the world.

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