Ray's musings and humor

Tuesday

June 27,
2006

 

 

“Accept fate, and move on.

Don’t yield to the seductive pull of
self-pity.

Acting like a victim threatens your
future.”

~~~

I used
this Teddy Roosevelt quote yesterday. “Far better is it to dare mighty
things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure…than to
rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because
they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.”
I know
about Teddy Roosevelt and I am no Teddy Roosevelt. I have learned to live
without glorious triumphs but I do enjoy many personal triumphs.

Here is one dictionary definition of triumph: the happiness, pride, or feeling of elation
that comes from winning, being victorious, or overcoming
something.

For many
of us satisfaction and joy comes just from getting in the game. Sadly too many
others just sit on the sidelines held back by fear or just plain laziness. Of
course it is always a personal choice, but I have real problems with people who
find excuses to just sit and let the world pass them by.

How often
have you procrastinated, and delayed, and then delayed again, only to put your
toe in the water and find that there were no grounds for your fear. I know when
that happens to me and when it does I regret that I missed things I might have
had.

Sure we
get hurt once in awhile, we often even look foolish, but so what! I would much
rather stand up and enjoy the laughter than to wallow in self pity or run and
hide. We get the chance everyday to do something special, but only if we start.
Want to see a play? Don’t talk about it, go see one. Lonesome? Volunteer
somewhere and say hi to all you see. Just don’t crawl up in a ball and hide in
the corner, but if that is your choice so be it, I don’t know about everybody
else but I’ll miss you but I won’t hang around.

So put
your toe in the water and lo and behold you will find that your body won’t be
far behind. Like Teddy said “it is far better to dare than to live in the grey
twilight.”

~~~

"To be
what you want to be, be like a bee. If the bee wasted its time comparing
it’s big body with it’s small light wings, it would not be flying
today."

S. Zondo

~~~

SIGNS FOUND IN KITCHENS

1. Kitchen closed – – this chick has had it!

2. Martha Stewart doesn’t live
here!!

3. I’m creative; you
can’t expect me to be neat
too!

4. So this isn’t Home Sweet
Home… Adjust!

5. Ring Bell for Maid Service…If no answer do it
yourself!

6. I clean house every other day…. Today is the other day!

7. If you write in the dust, please don’t date it!

8. I would cook dinner but I can’t find the can opener!

9. My house was clean last week, too bad you missed it!

10. A clean kitchen is the sign of a wasted life.

11. COOK CAN’T TAKE IT
ANYMORE!

12. I came, I saw, I decided to order take out.

13. If you don’t like my
standards of cooking … lower your standards.

14. You may touch the dust in this house … but please
don’t write in it!

15. Apology … Although you’ll find our house a mess, Come in, sit down,
converse. It doesn’t always look like
this: Some days it’s even
worse.

16. A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is
delirious.

17. If we are what we eat, then I’m easy, fast, and cheap.

18. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

19. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

20. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never
cease to be amused.

21. A clean house is a sign of a misspent life.

22. Help keep the kitchen clean – eat out.

23. Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to
lead normal lives.

24. My next house will have no kitchen — just vending
machines.

25. Gardening forever . . . Housework, never!

26. Dull women have immaculate houses.

~~~

Q: What’s the Indian word for "lousy hunter"?

A: Vegetarian.

~~~

She said: I sat with my infant son in front of the TV, hostage to my
husband’s channel-surfing. He
eventually settled on an R-rated movie in which the actress was soon
topless.  

"Honey, change the channel," I said, shielding my son’s eyes. "He shouldn’t see this."  

"It’s okay." my husband
replied. "He probably thinks it’s the
Food Network."  

~~~

Nobody really cares if you’re miserable, so you might as well be
happy.

Cynthia Nelms

~~~

A child asks his mother, "Do all fairy tales begin with, ‘Once upon a time?’"

His mother answers, "No, dear. Once in a while they begin with
‘I’ll be working late at the office
tonight.’"

"Does Daddy tell you fairy tales like that?"

"He used to."

"What made him stop?"

"One day he told me he’d be
working late, and I said, ‘Can I
depend on that?’"

~~~

No one would ever have crossed the ocean if
he could have gotten off the ship in the storm.

Charles Kettering

~~~

How to
install a wireless security system:

Go to a
second-hand store and buy a pair of men’s used work boots, a really big pair.

Put them
outside your front door on top of a copy of Guns and Ammo magazine. Put a dog
dish beside it, a really big dish. Leave a note on your front door that says
something like "Bubba, Big Mike and I have gone to get more ammunition – back in
1/2 an hr. Don’t disturb the pit
bulls. They’ve just been wormed and
they are a little edgy."

~~~

There are more men than women in mental
hospitals – which just goes to show who’s driving who crazy.

~~~

She said:
If you’re a bear, you get to
hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with
that.

Before
you hibernate, you’re supposed to eat
yourself stupid. I could deal with that too.

If
you’re a bear, you birth your
children (who are the size of walnuts) while you are sleeping and wake to
partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with
that.

If
you’re a mama bear, everyone knows
you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out
of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.

If
you’re a bear, your mate EXPECTS you
to wake up growling and he EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body
fat.

Yup……
I want to be a bear!

~~~

Your vision will become clear only when
you can look into your own heart.

Who looks outside, dreams; who looks
inside, awakes.

Carl Gustav
Jung

~~~

Stay well, do
good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is
not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is
somewhat senile.

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