Ray's musings and humor

Monday

June 26,
2006

 

 

There is nothing either good or bad, but
thinking makes it so.

William Shakespeare

~~~

Last week
we wrote about how so many of us put ourselves down, telling ourselves that we
are not as good as we really are. I was somewhat surprised at how what we wrote
generated soul searching on the part of many of our readers. The good news is
that like everything else, when we know we have a problem we can do something
about it. It is when we face up to reality that we can make things better. As I
thought about all the responses I received it struck me that it is attitude that
is the key for most of us. Instead of me rambling on today I just thought I
would share with you some of the thoughts of others.

Before we
go on I’ll just leave you with one thought, I don’t like the guy that gets up in
the morning with a bad attitude, when I look in the mirror it better not be
me.

~~~

A man sees in the world what he carries in
his heart.

Opening scene of "Faust"

***

The
longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me
is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than
education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than success, than
what other people think, say or do. It is more important than appearance, gift,
or skill. It will make or break a company…a church…a home.

The
remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will
embrace for that day. We cannot change our past… The only thing we can do is
play on the string we have, and that is our attitude.

I am
convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so
it is with you… we are in charge of our attitudes.

Charles Swindoll

***

You can tell more about a person by what he
says about others than you can by what others say about him.

***

People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much
you care.

***

Far
better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though
checkered by failure…than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy
much nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not
victory nor defeat.

Theodore Roosevelt

~~~

A
READER’S GUIDE

1. The
Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

2. The
Washington
Post is read by people who think they run the country.

3. The
New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country and who
are very good at crossword puzzles.

4. USA
Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but
don’t really understand The New York
Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.

5. The
Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn’t mind running the country – if they could find the
time, and if they didn’t have to
leave Southern California to do it.

6. The
Boston Globe is
read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a far superior job
of it, thank you very much.

7. The
New York Daily News is read by people who aren’t too sure who’s running the country and don’t really care as long as they can get a seat on the
train.

8. The
New York Post
is read by people who don’t care
who’s running the country as long as
they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.

9. The
Miami Herald is
read by people who are running another country but need the baseball
scores.

10. The
San Francisco
Chronicle is read by people who aren’t sure there is a country, or that anyone is running
it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional
exceptions if the leaders are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs who
also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy provided, of
course, that they are not Republicans.

11. The
National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery
store.

~~~

She said: "What makes airport security
think they can find something in my purse when even I can’t?"

~~~

"Take a bunch of flowers home for your wife, sir," urged the  

street vendor.  

"I
haven’t got a wife," replied the
young man.  

"Then buy a bunch for your sweetheart."  

"I
don’t have a sweetheart,
either."  

"Well then, buy a couple of bunches to celebrate your luck."  

~~~

Throughout life people will make you mad,
disrespect you and treat you bad.

Let God deal with the things they do, cause
hate in your heart will consume you too.

Will Smith

~~~

A Charlotte,
North Carolina man, having
purchased a case of rare, very expensive cigars, insured them against … get
this … fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of fabulous
cigars, and having yet to make a single premium payment on the policy, the man
filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the man stated that
he had lost the cigars in "a series of small fires." The insurance company
refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigars
in a normal fashion.  

The man sued… and won! In delivering his ruling, the judge stated
that since the man held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that
the cigars were insurable, and also guaranteed that it would insure the cigars
against fire, without defining what it considered to be "unacceptable fire," it
was obligated to compensate the insured for his loss. Rather than endure a
lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the
judge’s ruling and paid the man
$15,000 for the rare cigars he lost in "the fires."  

After the man cashed his check, however, the insurance company had
him arrested … on 24 counts of arson! With his own insurance claim and
testimony from the previous case being used as evidence against him, the man was
convicted of intentionally burning the rare cigars and sentenced to 24
consecutive one-year terms!  

~~~

It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in
the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

Jerry Seinfeld

~~~

A Jewish man was in St.
Vincent’s Hospital
recovering from an emergency operation when a nun walked into his room. She was
there to cheer up the sick and ailing. The man and nun started talking and the
nun asked about the man’s life. The
man talked about his wife and 13 children.

"My, my," said the nun, "13 children . . . You’re a good, proper Catholic family man. God is very
proud of you!"

"I’m sorry, Sister," the man
said, "I am not Catholic. I’m
Jewish."

"Jewish!?" she replies and immediately gets up to leave.

"Sister, why are you leaving?"

"I didn’t realize I was
talking to a sex maniac!"

~~~

Scratch a dog and you’ll find a permanent job.

~~~

"Well, I reckon you’ve been a
pretty good horse," said the farmer.

"You work hard and I ain’t had
to call the vet on you much. I only wish you pulled the plow a little faster.
But all in all? I’d say
you’re one fine horse and any farmer
worth his salt would be proud to own you!"

"NO!" said the horse, "I said, ‘feedBAG’
not,’feedBACK’."

~~~

How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young,
compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the
weak and strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of
these.

George Washington
Carver

~~~

Stay well, do
good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is
not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is
somewhat senile.

This daily is sent
only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have
system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you
the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you
can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily.
Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp
 currently
there are about 500 readers from all over the
world.

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