Ray's musings and humor

Thursday

 

“With each sunrise, we start anew”

~~~

Summer is here for most of us. Our readers in the Southern Hemisphere are up to their ears in winter as we in the North bask in the sun. I am not thrilled by high temperature and humidity but I live most of my life in an air-conditioned world so I avoid the extremes. It will be interesting in August when I will be in Italy, France, and Greece while many of their citizens will have left for cooler climes.

In all honesty though, I usually don’t pay too much attention to weather. Unless of course I collapse from the heat or get soaked in a storm. I enjoy each day too much to let the unimportant get me down. Maybe it is age that lets me forget the bad days and too be thankful for each new day, whatever it is it serves me well.

Listen to the Exhortation of the Dawn!

Look to this Day!

For it is Life, the very Life of Life.

In its brief course lie all the

Verities and Realities of your Existence.

The Bliss of Growth,

The Glory of Action,

The Splendor of Beauty;

For Yesterday is but a Dream,

And To-morrow is only a Vision;

But To-day well lived makes

Every Yesterday a Dream of Happiness,

And every Tomorrow a Vision of Hope.

Look well therefore to this Day!

Such is the Salutation of the Dawn!

Kalidasa

So let us listen to the dawn together and the sounds of summer and look forward to this day. For it is life. Let us enjoy the growth of ourselves and all that is around us. Let us do as much as we can but not miss the beauty that is there for each of us to see. As Kalidasa tells us, our day well lived lays the foundation for something even better tomorrow. Unfortunately way too many of us will miss it all by just not paying attention. I have to go now, I have many things to see and do and they won’t wait for me to catch up, if I miss them they will be gone forever. Bye.

~~~

“So many fail because they don’t get started – they don’t go.

They don’t overcome inertia. They don’t begin.”

W. Clement Stone

~~~

Ain’t It The Truth

Most people deserve each other.

All the good ones, no matter what it is, are taken.

The one who snores will fall asleep first.

The length of a marriage is inversely proportional to the amount of money spent on the wedding.

The gifts you buy your spouse are never as good and apropos as the gifts your neighbor buys their spouse.

Never get overly excited about a man/woman by just the way they look from behind.

If you help a relative in need, he/she will remember you the next time they are in need.

The probability of meeting someone you know increases greatly when you are out with someone you do not want to be seen with.

Toothaches always start on Friday night right before the weekend when the Dental Office will be closed.

~~~

"The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going."-George Carlin

~~~

She said: My husband and I were watching some TV show the other night where the wife hired a private detective to follow her husband to see if he were in fact "cheating" on her. My husband asked me if I would ever do that.

I said, "Well not so much to find out who the other woman was, but to see if I could find out what she saw in you."

~~~

According to a new poll, women are much better liars than men.

At least that’s what THEY say… but they could be lying.

~~~

A man is lost in the desert.  He used up the last of his water three days ago and he’s lying, gasping, on the sand, when in the distance he suddenly hears a voice calling "Mush! Mush!"  

Not trusting his ears he turns his head and there it is again, closer this time — "Mush! Mush!"  

Propping himself up on one elbow he squints against the sun and sees, of all things, an Eskimo in a fur coat driving a sled with a team of huskies across the dunes.  Thinking that it’s a hallucination, he blinks and shakes his head, but it’s for real!  He painfully lifts one arm and in a cracked voice calls, "He-elp!"  

The Eskimo pulls the sled up by him, the huskies panting in the heat, and he says to the Eskimo, "I don’t know what you’re doing here, or why, but thank God you are!  I’ve been wandering around this desert for days, my water’s all gone and I’m completely lost!"  

The perspiring Eskimo looks down at him and says, "You think YOU’RE lost!"  

~~~

Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side.

~~~

"What happened to you?" asked the bystander of the man lying on the sidewalk outside of the beauty parlor. The man shook his head groggily and rubbed his bruised chin.

"Last thing I remember was my wife came out of the beauty salon.  I took a look at her and said, ‘Well, Honey, at least you tried,’ and then it was lights out."

~~~

She said: – Do Not Start With Me. You Will Not Win.

~~~

Important Warnings

On the "CycleAware" helmet-mounted mirror: "Remember: Objects in the mirror are actually behind you."

On a large folding cardboard sunshade for car windscreens: "Do not attempt to operate vehicle with sunshade in place."

On a car lock which loops around both the clutch pedal and the steering wheel: "Warning – Remove lock before driving."

In the instructions for a Korean kitchen knife: "Keep out of children."

On a packet of juggling balls: "This product contains small granules under 3 millimeters. Not suitable for children under the age of 14 years in Europe or 8 years in the USA."

On a packet of Nytol sleeping tablets: "Warning: may cause drowsiness."

On a packet of peanuts served on an internal flight in China (written in both English and Chinese): "Open packet and eat contents."

On 500g packets of Sainsbury’s peanuts: "Contains nuts."

~~~

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer were being hit by cars" and he didn’t want them to cross there anymore.

~~~

“Every day is a fresh beginning,

Every morn is the world made new”

Sarah Chauncey Woolsey

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are about 500 readers from all over the world.

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